Jim Stalker Dot Net

Unleashing My Inner Tolstoy!

Daily Blog

Having a Secret Mission

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I like the idea of having a “secret mission.” I have gone so far as to develop one for myself. I bring this mission with me to work every day. Perhaps by sharing what I do, you might be encouraged to create your version, as I found I like having one. Plus, I think it makes me happier at work when I succeed with it.

The Background

As a kid, I found the word “secret” special. The idea of a secret identity, being a secret agent, and McDonald’s secret sauce all sounded more astonishing than they were. The main thing I learned was that secrets could be fantastic.

As a young adult, I became aware of “random acts of kindness” and “doing good without being found out.” Nice ideas. Positive. Also, secretive. I like that. Secrets can be good.

So then, what about Superman and Batman? The coolest superheroes ever both had secret identities. This whole “secret” business seemed hard-wired, maybe even archetypal.

So maybe, the proper secret mission could be fresh, pleasant, and archetypal. Perhaps I’m on to something in having a personal mission.

Some Modern Context

Simon Sinek talks about how leaders need to tap into their personal “whys” if they genuinely want to energize their teams. Leaders should know their most profound personal mission and bring that knowledge into work daily. Solid advice.

A precise “why” is where many typically dull actions, tasks, and other work-related duties can take on new importance. Moreover, a “why” that connects with a more profound personal mission can push you through when the going gets tough, inspiring others on the journey.

My Secret Mission

I try, every day, with all my interactions (work and otherwise), to focus on three very personally motivated behaviors.

  • Pay extra attention. Try to notice things others don’t.
  • Be encouraging. Let people know they are valued, appreciated, and capable of more than they realize.
  • Be natural and occasionally fun to be around.

Actions like these are not company mandates. Some businesses might consider them a tad unproductive. Too bad. I mandate them because I want to. I have seen them make a difference. Remember, this is my secret mission.

Pay Attention

We all remember, “don’t sweat the small stuff.” However, isn’t it the small stuff that matters most to people? With my secret mission, I try to sweat little details and notice them.

It’s great knowing someone has pets, but knowing the names of those pets? That makes you a Ninja. The same goes for work. People appreciate it when you see what they do and (to Sinek’s point) why they do it.

A keen eye, excellent listening skills, and an occasional question seasoned with a dash of Sherlock Holmes will get you to notice all sorts of details that matter to people. You need to start and work at it.

Encourage Folks

Who can’t use a little (or a lot) encouragement? Moreover, who can’t do more than they think? Answer: nearly all of us.

We’ve all heard the story of someone who felt discouraged and gave up regretting this decision later in life. It’s my secret mission to try to ensure that doesn’t happen. Plus, if I have my doubts, who am I to tell someone they can’t? Instead, I insist they can!

Some workplaces are not encouraging. Also, regrettably, some jobs suck. No Jedi mind trick will change it. That’s where a little appreciation goes a long way. So I make it my secret mission to give a little when possible.

“Thank you for coming to work today!” or, “It makes me happy to see you today!” or, “Wow, you’re talented!” take minimal effort to say but can make someone’s day. So, if it is that easy, why not tell them? I do. Trust me; you’ll be surprised by the reactions!

Find Fun

Some workplaces and people have no room for fun. I get it. The wiring of people and organizations is often unique. One brand of fun doesn’t work for everyone. However, is that a good enough reason not to have any?

No, it isn’t.

So, I make it my secret mission to find and create fun where I can, but in small doses. I agree that joy can be overdone.

Be Easy and Natural

Finally, this came late to me; being “easy to work with” is much better than being “hard to work with.” Duh, right?

However, being comfortable and at ease with yourself and others isn’t easy. It requires some skill at reading people, knowing yourself, maturity and patience when communicating and reacting, and perhaps most challenging, some humility.

So, if you’re trying to be the next Steve Jobs, running around with high expectations, severe judgment, and continually changing opinions, best be sure you are Steve Jobs. Otherwise, you’ll come across as an ass no one wants to work with who thinks they are a genius when they are not.

It makes me wonder; maybe Steve could’ve gotten even more done if his style had been more relaxed.

Conclusion

Doing excellent work is always job one. Any “secret mission,” no matter how elaborate, cannot compensate for poor performance. Performance should be your primary focus.

If you have that together, adding a “secret mission” might be a way to revitalize the workday for you and your coworkers. Perhaps you are the one who promotes exercise or reading more books. Maybe you are the champion of doing service work. I’ve seen all these “secret missions” from coworkers make a difference to folks over the years.

You can do it, so why not go for it? No telling where it may take you or your coworkers. Then maybe, when people look back at working with you, they’ll say, “Wow, what a great coworker!” Who wouldn’t like that?

My Secret Side Hustle

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For my entire adult life, I have been teaching group-exercise fitness classes. I have taught in Los Angeles, Santa Barbara, Silicon Valley, Aspen, Manhattan Beach, and Granite Bay. I taught at some exciting times for the fitness industry at some fantastic health clubs. I suspect I have taught just north of 7,500 classes.

I’ve met hundreds of people who made my classes part of their regular fitness routine. Many became lifelong friends. I’ve counted at least seven marriages that grew out of my classes. Teaching these classes was incredibly fulfilling, tapping into parts of myself my 9-5 jobs didn’t. Teaching classes was my hobby – my side hustle.

Flashdance

This teaching and motivation were unknown to those who knew me in my vocation as a sales executive. The secrecy wasn’t planned. Teaching fitness classes started long before my career did. When I finally started working, it just seemed awkward to bring up.

“Hey, do you know I teach aerobics?” “Um, yeah, so what?”

So, I just never talked about it. Plus, I didn’t want to explain the spandex of the early days.

It’s hard to explain if you weren’t there, but for about a decade, my classes were, in the words of Ron Burgundy, “kind of big deal!” I had what they called a “following.” It was a bit like the movie Flashdance living a double life. Instead of “welder by day – dancer by night,” it was “sales executive by day, fitness instructor by night.” That is not a hit movie.

A Dichotomy

A strange dichotomy arose in my work life (plural). During the day, I’d put on my tie, go to work, be restrained and professional, and methodically execute the countless details required to be successful at enterprise sales. Then at night, I would let it all go being the crazy person needed to lead a class in high-intensity, sweat-drenching, choreographed exercise.

I moved from aerobics to high-impact aerobics, funk, and spinning. I’ve stayed employed in fitness for decades. Most importantly, I showed up, night after night, year after year, with high energy and a fun demeanor regardless of what was going on in my life. All done concurrently with my sales career.

Balance

Having a vocation and an avocation like this made for an outstanding balance in my life. Many know and tap into this.

  • Tough day at the office? Redemption with a great class full of smiles, high-fives, and thank-yous was around the corner!
  • Terrible boss? Having this fun hobby, endurance is more effortless.
  • Feeling the day job isn’t pressing the “meaningful” button, helping people stay in shape did.

As the years passed, my day in the sun of group exercise passed, and my classes were no longer any big deal. But they were still fun for me. I still teach today, only to much smaller classes.

It turns out this fitness instruction side gig was pretty sweet for me. I started young and was able to adapt through all its iterations. Teaching got me focused on others and taught me how to deal better with people. Putting classes together developed an otherwise dormant creative muscle.

Plus, it helped me stay in shape. Like all meaningful side projects, it gave my life a sense of balance. Good and bad. Exciting and not-so-exciting. Best of all, I met my wife in class.

Side Hustles

Lately, side hustles have become a thing – they sound fantastic. A hustle can indicate someone who is scrappy, motivated, and multi-talented.

Over the past decade, I’ve heard many open conversations about side hustles at work. I have heard stories of employees selling stuff online, consulting in other fields, and doing group exercise instruction as a yoga instructor. I get it. Yoga isn’t weird; it’s hip.

As a result, I became more comfortable talking about my side hustle at work and elsewhere. I could write this article (so long as it was broad). Few, if any, are interested in the nuance of aerobic choreography. But, trust me, it is fascinating.

If you have a side hustle, I hope yours is as fun and rewarding as mine has been. A good one can provide a hedge against life’s difficulties in the workplace and elsewhere.

I also hope you don’t have to defend photos of yourself like this one from yours.

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Teamwork – Beatles Style!

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The Disney + three-part Beatles documentary, Get Back by Peter Jackson is out and has immediately established itself as one of the most exciting and essential music documentaries ever. Going back in the time machine and watching what looks like brand-new footage of the world’s most successful band collaborating on some of their best-known songs is both nostalgic and fascinating. The music press has been rightfully gaga about the project, with youtube ablaze with internet music personalities weighing in on what makes it great.

One of my business friends commented, “I think we could all learn something from how the Beatles collaborate!” He added, “No ego, just focusing on getting the job done well. And this was done while having what looked like a ton of fun!”

I published some of the many exciting details about the Jackson film and why we’re talking today about a re-edit of a movie over fifty years old. Today, I want to explore my friend’s question and see if we can learn how the Beatles worked together, as shown in Get Back.

What Beatles Teamworking Looks Like

  • Know the Goal – Know Your Role – Get to Work.
  • Iterate, then, Iterate Again!
  • Have Fun – Be Silly – Eat Lunch – Have Tea.

Know the Goal – Know Your Role – Get to Work!

It was interesting to see the Beatles show up for work every day (like the rest of us), grab some toast and jam, and then get to the business of making great songs. Working together, as long as they had created many hit songs, they knew where they were going and intuitively understood what each brought to the table. Developing this type of maturity is not easy for teams and typically is only forged through time. The Beatles had that time – Gladwell’s 10,000 hours – and as a result, much of Get Back shows the Beatles getting work done effectively.

The Beatles also put in a full day. These days were not always the most efficient, but nearly all days showed the boys focused, engaged, and moving the song forward. The Beatles rarely lost sight of the goal yet allowed enough space for magic. From the film’s perspective, simply spending time together is the minimum requirement for these most remarkable organic moments to occur (like when Paul starts up with Get Back out of nowhere). As convenient (and fashionable these days) as it might be to put “write Get Back” on everyone’s schedule on Tuesday from 10:00 – 11:30, that’s not how it worked for the most extraordinary musical creators ever.

Iterate, then, Iterate Again!

What becomes obvious watching Get Beck is that all these songs are repeatedly played – almost nauseatingly so. But, each new go at the tune would bring in another minor change, a unique detail added to the song. The next time, with this new version in tow, the lads would add another change layer. That process of iteration is how the Beatles worked.

Ringo would try a new tempo or drum pattern. Paul would change lyrics so they would be “More singable.” John would play the bass, or George would play the bass part on his guitar while Paul was playing the piano. Each refinement, learned by playing it through, makes the song a little bit better. We see Get Back go from a riff with mumbled lyrics to the music we all know today, courtesy of about 20 iterations (that we saw in the film).

Interestingly, the boys never seem to come unglued with this process. They stay focused on the work, knowing they’ll know when they have it right despite an unclear vision of where the song will end. Iteration is a skill created via discipline with a process and understanding “good enough” when it happens. I think we can all learn from this. Seek input from team members, build it in, then go again (and again) and make it better.

We can also learn how adding someone to the band as talented as Billy Preston can instantly change everything. The Beatles were in the doldrums until Preston stopped in. George brings Preston into the studio to say “Hi!” The piano and organ player is invited to sit in and stick around the remainder of the session, instantly adding indelible keyboard parts to many songs. Where would the music Get Back be without Preston’s great solo?

I was iterating output and iterating the team. Beatles approved.

Have Fun – Be Silly. Have Lunch!

The most frequent comment about Get Back versus Let it Be films is how happy and friendly the Beatles are in Get Back. The original Let it Be was a downer and wrongly focused on group tension as the film’s spine. Paul, in particular, was edited in unflattering ways and came across as a villain breaking up the Beatles. History has proven that wasn’t true, and Get Back clarifies the bigger story of the Beatles making great music and their process.

While the new film maintains the infamous argument with George saying to a very opinioned Paul, “I’ll play what you want or won’t play at all!” it also provides an abundance of good moments that occurred between them. Tensions notwithstanding, it was pretty awesome being a Beatle. They got along, could get things done, and did all while having fun together. No surprise, as the Beatles were friends who grew up together since their early teens and survived an unprecedented career arc. English civility is nearly always maintained, exemplified by the daily break for tea and lunch. The Beatles don’t seem to understand the American concept of a working lunch!

For the Beatles, music was their main connector and the passion they all shared. Because they knew hundreds of songs between them, it was not uncommon to see them spontaneously launch into one of those songs between the work of polishing up a new tune. In these light moments, the viewer sees this deep musical connection and sparks of genius that illustrate why they were the Beatles. They had something profoundly creative between them, which was still working perfectly well in 1969. This is not the band unhinged and falling apart seen in Let it Be, but a cohesive team who would regroup a month later to record Abbey Road, their final album with many career highlights.

One also must mention that the Beatles shared a great sense of humor and silliness. Fans were familiar with this Beatles’ dimension from the film “Hard Days Night,” their interviews, and annual Christmas messages. They were genuinely funny people, each in their way. Get Back, however, brings their humor to another level as a bit of fun is palpable nearly every day in the studio. And this is reassuring. Even with some genuine management tensions between them then, the Beatles in 1969, as they would prove with Abbey Road, were still capable of being at the top of the music game. Shouldn’t that be joyous and full of fun? Yes, and it appears it was (for the most part).

Conclusion

Business today, in my experience, is a collaborative team sport that involves creativity. Now with remote work, we all needed to collaborate more. If this new work-from-anywhere model gets some roots, it will be because we are more mature and skilled team members concerning collaboration and teamwork and getting things done. So maybe we can learn a few tips from a very mature and successful team, the Beatles.

Making time to get together as a team repeatedly, as the Beatles did, will help us better understand roles and goals amongst ourselves, allowing us to start quicker and be more efficient over time. The Beatles didn’t rush greatness, so maybe neither should we.

Iterating on work, over and over, with an eye on the best outcome (without being oversensitive to your idea of losing out) is also something the Beatles did. Also, mixing up the team might be just what we need. And if Billy Preston is the one who wants to join your team, the answer is a big “yes!”

Finally, wasting time and having fun, the Beatles showed us, seems to be part of a great outcome with established teams. So is civility, such as taking breaks for coffee, tea, and lunch. Perhaps teams should embrace these practices rather than eschew them in favor of “tighter schedules.” Clearly, in viewing Get Back, this worked for the Beatles.

I would also add one other insight I was reminded of watching Get Back, and that is this: If you want to get results like the Beatles, you might want to start with the actual Beatles. I remembered the line from the film Social Network, “If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you would have invented Facebook!” Same sentiment. The rarest snowflakes are John, Paul, George, and Ringo (George Martin, Billy Preston, Glyn Johns, and others). Put them together, let them be themselves, and you get something that we’re still talking about fifty years later.

Beatles Forever!

Peter Jackson’s Get Back

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The Beatles’ Get Back! Premiered on Disney+ over Thanksgiving weekend. The original film, “Let it Be,” was filmed by the world’s best-selling band across several weeks in January of 1969 by documentarian Micheal Lindsay Hogg.

Lord of The Beatles

The new Peter Jackson film, Get Back was culled from over 60 hours of raw video footage and 150 hours of audio, both from that session. All this material was edited down to a running time of 468 minutes by the award-winning director and his New Zealand-based technical team. They created a three-part mini-series providing much for Beatle fanatics and music fans to digest. Technically, the movie belies its former grainy and blandly-colored 16mm film pedigree. Jackson upscaled the film using the same process applied to 2019’s World War 1 documentary, “They Shall Not Grow Old.” The result is stunning, as 2021’s Get Back looks vibrant, fresh, and contemporary. The viewer is immediately immersed in the fab four’s intimately chronicled songwriting process since the lads were using “creating and performing new songs” as the point of the documentary. Part of the 1970 release of Let it Be and 2021’s Get Back contains what ended up being their last live public performance – the infamous rooftop concert. But really, that is the only thing they have in common.

Pent-Up Fan Demand

The Beatles reportedly hated that original film and the accompanying album produced by rock and roll hall of fame member Phil Spector. The band’s ire was so unified toward the film and album that “Let it Be” was never released on DVD and could only be found on garage-sale-bought VHS tapes (and illegal streams created from them). The soundtrack album was similarly vilified and given a full-throttled workover with their “Let it Be – Naked,” released in 2003. The film Let it Be, even for serious Beatle fans, was always an unsatisfying curiosity; the rooftop concert was fantastic, but the rest of the film was a complete mess. With the hint of a cache of unseen Beatle footage, fans wondered, “Where is the Let it Be Redux?” When Jackson’s name started being leaked to the world as one interested in pulling this project together, excitement for a new Let it Be escalated. Jackson, whose Lord of the Rings trilogy is as beloved as any film series ever made, seemed like the right guy to do this. When Apple Records announced an official film with the full blessing of the remaining Beatles directed by Jackson was coming, excitement ensued. Get Back is finally here after four years and a last-minute pivot from a two-hour theatrical film to 468-minute Disney+ series later. The consensus is Jackson’s Get Back is worth the wait, righting almost all the criticisms from the original Let it Be. While the series is long, a tad repetitive, and not for everyone, Get Back is remarkable in capturing the Beatles near their heyday, with a level of intimacy not typically seen in music documentaries. Many music writers have echoed the comment, “Hard to believe this footage exists!”

Cinema Verite

While some initial mugging and playing to the camera, Get Back plays most like cinema verite, capturing candid moments with the band, their immediate business and music teams, and the filmmakers unnoticed. Witnessing the Beatles in 1969 creating songs out of thin air like “Get Back” has never been seen before, and it is fascinating. Even more riveting is how they collaborate to bring Get Back to a finished product. Together for nearly a decade at the documentary’s filming, the Beatles had achieved a level of success never seen before or since in music. So as we watch them collaborate, creating the classic Beatles songs Get Back, Don’t Bring Me Down, The Long and Winding Road, and Let it Be, we are watching a well-oiled collaborative music-making machine arguably unlike any other. The film also reveals a process we mortals can learn from collaborating. More on that in Get Back – Part Two

Goals for 2021

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It’s goal-setting time once again! Here are mine. I hope you enjoy them.

  • More overpriced take-out that doesn’t travel particularly well!
  • More political conversations and posts!
  • While we’re at it, why not more religious conversations and posts too? Everyone seems to love them. Plus, I’m pretty sure they do change people’s minds!
  • Focus more on my phone than my workout when at the gym. Everyone else is!
  • Pretend I’m baffled by how masks work! Covering the mouth and the nose simultaneously isn’t easy. Harder still when you don’t care to do it.
  • Find more streaming services to subscribe to. Netflix, YouTubeTV, HBOMax, Amazon Prime, AppleTV, Hulu, and DisneyPlus isn’t enough.
  • When I see the parking lot is packed during the holidays, I take an extra 10-15 minutes sitting in my car before pulling out. When someone is waiting for my spot, I find it a great time to get caught up on Instagram with the car running!
  • Become known at the dog park as “the guy whose dog pees on other dogs!” Wait, much to my horror, that already happened!
  • Watch/listen to more series about NXIVM!
  • Continue never to utter, “I don’t know anything about that!”
  • Instead of all this sarcasm, maybe I’ll focus on being more empathetic, kind, and less conspicuously needy. On second thought, Nah!

Happiest of New Years’ this 2021!

Let’s close with the Beatles, “I have to admit it’s getting better – it’s getting better – all the time – it can’t get worse!”

2020 – Christmas Insert

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Merry Christmas!

Our son Riley graduated from Granite Bay High School with honors. Then, he moved away to the University of San Diego as a “scholar-athlete” majoring in computer science. We’re proud of him, and he’s adjusting well. He’s intelligent, funny, and kind. How that happened is a bit of a mystery.

We’re also impressed with how USD works through the current “situation.” The USD approach is thoughtful and well-communicated. I was somewhat unfamiliar with USD, although Annette and I knew some graduates or parents of graduates. But anyone who knows me knows I never listen or get things I hear mixed up. So, I initially was telling people Riley was going to a Jesuit University (which USD isn’t – it’s just Catholic). What I did get right is the campus is beautiful. Most importantly, at this point, it looks to be a solid fit for our one-and-only.

Fingers crossed, Riley returns to San Diego on Jan. 3rd to restart training with the crew team for the second semester beginning two weeks later.

Fortunately, Annette and I have both been busy at our jobs through the pandemic. Annette’s forensic accounting practice and my corporate sales job have required us to flex to remain effective. While this was initially challenging, we’ve both adapted and are happy to report all is good here. It helps that we both work for excellent companies!

As for the “empty nest” and the “working from home ” challenges – we’ve got it super easy here. We work with colleagues who struggle with young kids at home and in less-than-ideal working spaces. We don’t have that. We are saddened at not seeing our boy’s smiling face every day. Oh, and the fear of the Amazon delivery when our typically quiet standard poodles erupt in a cacophony of barking. Are these problems?

Honestly, we have it pretty good. Maybe even pretty, pretty, good (for our Curb Your Enthusiasm friends)! We have some good fortune working for us. We understand this has been a challenging time for many in very personal ways.

And if there is one point that the pandemic has driven home, it’s how precious family and friends are. That, and a little kindness, can go a long way. With that in mind, the Happiest of Holidays to you all this genuinely bizarre and hopefully unrepeated year.

And here’s hoping we connect again soon.